Wednesday, July 21, 2010

new years resolutions minus the new years part.

i just wanna start with saying that i wish i was good at this whole blogging thing. im not, i accept it. i just wish i was. i wish i updated it more and that it was an accurate representation of my life at the time. i talk to much about thoughts and ideas and forget to talk about everything else. but whatever... moving on...

anyway... i move in august so ive been cleaning out my stuff... its amazing how much clutter and pointless things i have. i.e. clothes i never plan on wearing again, notes from like 8th grade, 3 year old magazines. and with that comes cleaning out my heart, mind, life. so i have a bunch of resolutions because i really need to make things into list form in order for me to attempt them, and i never make resolutions at the beginning of the year like everyone else, and there is no other reason.

so my mid-year resolutions are...

-to start taking school seriously. college is important and i need to stop treating it like its high school. i feel like having a fresh start at a new school next semester will help me with this. and living on campus might help a little too.
-live for jesus not for christianity. this isnt a new resolution, just one that i need to constantly remind myself of. ive got sucked into the typical american christian life before and i never EVER want it to happen again.
-and with that being said.... not be such a hypocrite. i picked up a book today at barnes & noble and didnt buy it which im regretting. its called The Christian Atheist: Believing In God But Living As If He Doesn't Exist By Craig Groeschel. The description on the back alone had me hooked and kinda kicked me in the stomach a little but at the same time hugged me. so i need to live what i believe and believe what i live... and i need to read that book asap.
-read more. spend less time using technology.
-be a better friend. i feel like ive kinda been sucking as a friend lately. not to brag... ok ill brag a little bit... i used to be a pretty legit friend. and lately i havent. not that i stopped caring for my friends. i still love each and everyone of them to the moon and back and probably to the moon again. but i used to be the friend that made it a priority to spend time with my friends, a priority to call them, to pray for and with them, to buy them things just because it reminded me of them and well... im not that person anymore and i want to get back to that.
so kaitlin... im sorry that i cant even remember the last time i called you.
britney... sorry i havent been a very good maid of honor... i realize your wedding is 9 months away but i feel like i havent been doing enough to support you.
lakin... sorry i havent made it a priority to find time to hang out.
katelyn and missy... sorry i havent made it a priority to hang out with you two either.
christina... sorry i havent sent you a super niffty lost canyon care package.

and to all my other friends... sorry i havent been the super amazing friend that i so want to be. call me out on it, please, cause i want to be the bestest friend i can be to all of the people that i care about oh so much.

-be a better yl leader. not so i can get a pat on the back or so i can fill my facebook with pictures of darling little high school kids. but so i can truly be a representation of his kingdom and that i can lead broken souls to the foot of the cross.

so to my beautiful younglife girls... im sorry i havent been spending as much time with you as i should, sorry i havent been stretching and challenging you in your faith, sorry i havent been the ear to listen when you need to talk. i havent seen alot of you since camp and that is just not acceptable. some of you made brave, life changing decisions this past year and this past summer and i couldnt be more proud. i cant wait to walk alongside you in your new life this next year and for the rest of eternity.

-GET ORGANIZED.... and then STAY organized.

-do more things i enjoy. hike, blow bubbles just because, jump in the pool fully clothed, have spontaneous dance parties, write, watch disney movies.
-spend time with my family.
-spend less money on things that dont matter. (clothes, magazines)
-take more pictures.
-be more transparent. let people in. open up more.
-start living like i believe God has a better plan for me than i do instead of just saying it.

and lastly, if i suck at all these things, not hating myself for it.