Sunday, October 10, 2010
"Growing up in Arizona, you don't see much rain. When it does rain here, it is an event. I have always loved the rain more than anyone really should. We use sunshine and warm weather to represent happiness and rainy weather and clouds to represent sadness and gloominess. For me it has always been the opposite. On overcast days my heart has a big cheesy smile and I feel more alive than usual. Add rain and wind and my heart is literally dancing around in my chest. Some of my favorite memories were just ordinary days accompanied by rain. I think of dancing in the street with my sister, playing mud football with some friends, staying in the house all cuddled up in sweatpants and a cup of coffee watching chick flicks or reading a good book, driving to a bible study listening to Matt Wertz and drinking a peppermint mocha, and yes, even trying not to die as I run to class after the most ridiculous hail storm I had ever seen. I cannot explain the surge of happiness and sense of living I feel when it's raining. I have never felt closer to God then I do when I am standing in the rain taking it all in. Conclusion: I need to move to Seattle."
Dear rain, come back now pleeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssseeeeeeee...
Monday, October 4, 2010
I feel like I am too busy. That there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done. But if you look at my usual weekly schedule it almost looks like I do nothing with my life.
But back to God being crazy. A few months ago he said this to me "wyldlife" to which I said "ew no!"
And then three weeks ago he said it again. This time I wasnt such a brat. But in the back of my mind I just laughed and thought nothing of it. Im way too comfortable in younglife. I love high schoolers, I get them, and they are just the right amount of immature and childish without being... well... junior high kids.
And then it was friday and I was leaving to Lost Canyon for the weekend for a leadership retreat. And it was an amazing weekend where I got to sing my heart out and escape from school work and hear the wise words of the first ever suns gorilla. And then it was Saturday morning and I was praying and God told me to "lead leaders" wtf? what does that even mean. But I was just happy that the wyldlife talk took a backseat. Then I go to the tall one's (Scott Didricksons) seminar on discipleship which I kind of regret cause Scott always has a way of calling me out on my b.s. without realizing it. (Which I am so thankful for by the way). Flash forward to that afternoon and Im having a conversation outside of the whistle stop with my area director, Cory and he tells me "Youre head leading our new wyldlife club." And instead of being a brat like I had been to God I just said ok. Cause everything God had been telling me was all starting to make sense, and I guess junior highers cant be thaaaaat bad... and even if they are, the leadership team I get the privlidge of "head leading" are some of the most amazing people in the history of the world.
Oh and then I got back from that weekend and went to Younglife club that monday where Jesus showed us again just how amazing he is...
140 plus kids at Younglife??? SO AMAZING.
I really can't express how thankful I am for this ministry.
Anyway, I was reading Donald Millers blog, which I do often. I literally read the same entries ive read 213512 times already and still get blessed by them. You should check it out http://donmilleris.com/ And I was reading an entry about humility and this one got me thinking...
"I am not a humble person. I’m proud of my accomplishments. I drop names when I’m feeling insecure. I also talk about the cool projects I’m working on when I want to impress somebody. If you’ve known me for long, you’ve probably heard me do it. Sorry about that.
But the truth is, I don’t really want to be a humble person. It’s not a goal of mine. I don’t think about it, and I have a lot more emotional stability because I don’t think about it. If I get too arrogant somebody will humble me. When you write a blog you get criticism every hour on the hour, and that certainly helps.
Truly humble people don’t get called humble very often. In fact, if you are consistently spoken of as humble, you might want to reflect on whether or not you are trying to project a humble identity, which is just another form of narcissism. People who are humble are too busy thinking about a project they are working on, or their family, or their friends. Their mind isn’t on their humility or their lack of humility; their mind is on something other than themselves. In doing so, they help other people focus on something other than themselves, too. And that’s true freedom. We live in a fallen world, so you and I are only going to accomplish this in shades. I’m not humble, but I don’t sit around and condemn myself for it either, which is yet another form of narcissism. I’m pretty awesome that way. I also once met Harry Connick Jr and his girlfriend thought I had nice hair. Try being humble when that sort of thing has happened to you. It’s freaking impossible."
pretty good stuff. I want to marry Donald Miller.... or at least marry someone with all his genius thoughts. well... I was gonna reflect on this humility stuff but Im tired and I want to catch up on Greys Anatomy before I go to sleep. Goodnight...