Yeah, I dont blog anymore... ever. My last post was way too long ago. And when I do every post starts the same way...
"I havent posted anything in so long. I will definitely start updating this more..."
Then 6 months later and I havent posted a thing. So I am not going to say that this time. And since I am so out of my blogging groove I dont really know where to start right now. It is a fact. I am a horrible blogger. But I have become a somewhat consistent journaler. (dont think thats a word) That is something I have been working on since I sat with my work crew boss junior year of highschool as she talked to me about the importance of setting time aside every day to just be with God, no distractions. I have to say she was right. Every important decision in my life has been the product of a quiet time. Whether that be sitting in the dark on a rock at lost canyon, reading a book on the beach, being burried in my bible in the mountains of Colorado... but I have never been consistent. Most of these times when I have been surrounded by beautiful scenery or somewhere out of the ordinary. But I think it is most important to have these times at home, in the middle of your everyday life where things become routine and God often gets put on the back burner.
With that being said and my desire to actually make a real post on my blog, here are a couple of excerpts from my journal the last couple of days.
In Isaiah 6 he says "Woe to me for I am a man of unclean lips and I live among a people of unclean lips and the eyes have seen the King, the Lord almighty."
What do we do with that contrast? I am so disgustingly sinful and pathetically human, yet I have been swept up by a loving, perfect God. The only way I know to describe this is lyrics from the John Mark Mcmillan song How He Loves "He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree." Have you seen a little puny tree in a hurricane? Its not pretty. Its the same thing when you embrace the paradox of your ugliness and Gods perfection. Yet it is the only way to be free and full. And the outcome is nothing short of beautiful.
"Do not fret- it only causes harm." In My Utmost For His Highest, Oswald Chambers talks about fears and worries. It is easy for us to believe that we do not need to worry when we have little to worry about. But I need to learn to honestly believe that I need not worry when there are a ton of things I could be worrying about, (Like right now.) I need to believe that God has a hold of me so tight that not only is my worrying pointless, but that it is a barrier between God and myself.
"Resting in the Lord is not dependent on your own circumstances at all but on your relationship with God himself." ........... Lord let that be my prayer for the day.
Reflecting yesterday about how blessed I am to live where I do and how, sadly, being free is a priviledge in this world had me thinking of my freedom in Christ. I honestly dont remember what life was like before Christ. Obviously I remember the basic details that made up my life, but I dont remember the state of my heart. I dont remember how my circumstances affected me. I guess once we give our hearts to Christ we really are "born again" as much as I hate that saying. (Thanks a lot street corner preachers and televangelists.) When I think of my life before I knew truth, it is like I am watching a movie. I can relate to the character, but I am not her. The thought of where I would be now had I not fallen head over heels in love with my creator terrifies me.
"Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass."
The passage in my devotional for today has me feeling extremely convicted.
"God seems to have a delightful way of upsetting the plans we have made when we do not take Him into account. Suddenly we realize that we Have been making our plans without Him- that we have not ever considered Him to be a vital living factor in the planning of our lives." Ouch.
Oh.... cute journals help me to set that time apart as well.
This one says "Where troubles melt like lemon drops..." on the back. Love.